The Unshaming Project

Releasing the shame we carry as women…


Do you feel…

  • That your loved ones’ needs are more important than yours?

  • That you are an ‘honourable’ woman only when you serve, nurture and forget about your needs.

  • That your sexuality is something to be ashamed about? And should be hidden?

You are not alone…

We women are shamed every day…

We are terrorised into staying silent as childen
We are terrorised into staying silent as childen
We are sexually and physically abused as children
We are sexually and physically abused as children
We are taught to suppress all our desires in the name of religion and culture
We are taught to suppress all our desires in the name of religion and culture
We are violated physically, emotionally and sexually
We are violated physically, emotionally and sexually

This shame seeps into our very core. It impacts how we communicate with our loved ones. We rarely say NO because we don’t know how to set boundaries for our needs. We don’t feel good enough and we are forever looking for approval from others. We hide our sexual desires. Our sense of self is completely destroyed and our soul is traumatised.

How Shamed are You?

Why become Unshamed?

Because if we don’t; because if we keep on denying ourselves our needs, we will continue to disconnect from ourselves and from others. It’s a downhill road with nothing but loneliness and isolation at its core.

The Path to becoming Unshamed

The path of becoming Unshamed is a beautiful journey of the heart, body and soul. It allows you to cut through shame and years of brainwashing that you have been surrounded with. 

You can imagine that when it came to naming the journey and the path, the only suitable word is BLADE.

  • Build awareness: If you aren’t aware, you cannot do anything about it. Find out just how many ways this society is using to shame you.
  • Learn the art of safe circling: Create your own safe space and your own tribe. Learn how the act of presence and compassionate curiosity transforms you. 
  • Attend events and workshops: We cannot learn new things about ourselves and about life if we don’t expose ourselves to a variety and diversity this life has to offer. This is where you get to have fun and explore who you really are.
  • Dissolve your shame: Shame loses its power completely when we talk about it. Through the build, learn and attend, you can slowly begin to dissolve your shame.
  • Energise your soul: As you dissolve your shame, it is time to recharge and reclaim your own wellbeing. 

Will you join me in becoming Unshamed?

Who am I?

I was born in Pakistan as a Muslim woman. I was indoctrinated with shame in the name of honour, culture and religion. I learnt to suffer in silence and always put the needs of others above mine.

I was sexually abused as a child and then, emotionally and sexually abused as an adult.

It has taken years to undo the shame that took hold of me when I was very young. I now inspire others to become Unshamed.

Ruby Usman

What others say about me…


Myriam Bejjani
Child and Family Psychologist

“Ruby Usman is an inspiring individual with a hunger to live life to the fullest. Her intelligence, “realness” and wisdom are born of real life experiences. Like an alchemist, she has turned life’s garbage into gold. This gold she offers to others with enthusiasm and integrity!”


Deborah Bower
Senior HR Consultant

“Recently, I found myself in what I consider a serious personal crisis, and the only person I felt safe to share this with, was Ruby… I received honest feedback given from a place of compassion, empathy and a deeply founded integrity. This, and so much more…

I am ever grateful, to the universe, for the gift of this beautiful woman in my life.

With love and gratitude”


Joe Williams
Speaker, Mentor and Coach

“She’s an amazing coach; she’s knowledgeable, skilful, and she has also got a heart; She’s got the soul. I was moved by how much she cares. When you put those two things together, that’s a rare combination.”


Narada Ellis
Senior Consultant

“Ruby has a deep compassion and empathy for people that guides all she does. She has a wide knowledge and experience with many methods of reflection, discovery and self-improvement. I am endlessly grateful that Ruby has helped me to become a far more self-aware person, and prompted me to dig deeper and to challenge my assumptions on countless occasions.”

This is how I can support you

Events and Workshops

I have found working in groups to be the most effective way to transform my trauma, my beliefs and become Unshamed.

Click to find out more about the events and workshops I offer

Online Courses

Sign up and take charge of your healing in the safety of your own space. My online courses aim to make you aware of the shaming that our gender suffers every day and provide you tools that you can use to become Unshamed.

Personal Coaching

Sometimes, we all need someone who can listen, understand and provide honest feedback. Sometimes, there are so many voices inside of us that we need someone to help us carve our path. If this is you then contact me for a one-on-one chat.

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